If you are feeling the pressure returning to work after the summer holidays, then imagine what it is like for young mums in the workplace returning after a period off on maternity leave.
Some mums can’t wait to get back into work – getting into a routine, engaging different parts of your brain, feeling like they are getting their career back on track. Others may harbour doubts about slotting straight back in, even feelings of imposter syndrome aren’t uncommon. A lot can change in the 9-12 months since you were last there.
I can’t speak from the first-hand experience of being a mum but I have had many conversations in my career as a manager, a recruiter and a coach. This blog post is a collection of my thoughts based on my experience. I haven’t a significant extended period of absence from work since my career started back in 1995.
Keeping in Touch Days
Most companies operate a keeping in touch (KIT) policy where there be several days, where you are encouraged to come in and catch up with colleagues. In lockdown that must have been limited to video calls, so no opportunity to proudly show off your new bundle of joy. These KIT days are useful but tend to only scratch the surface given the pace with which the commercial world moves.
On your visit to the office, you may experience new faces, colleagues with new roles or elevated positions – it’s hard to cram in that much in the small number of allocated days. Plus, in today’s increasing world of flexible working it may also be hard to connect face to face with all those that you wanted to.
Flexible Work During Pregnancy
It’s not just about support when mums are off on maternity. Companies need to be more flexible in support for mothers during their pregnancy. There are usually a few bumps (excuse the pun) along the way during the pregnancy term. It is fairly common for increased tiredness, water retention etc.
I do recall a young mum in a previous workplace being frustrated towards the end of their pregnancy, their mobility had been impacted and fatigue meant that they struggled to do a full 8 hours in the office. Their request for coming into the office outside of peak commute times and somewhere to have a private rest when at work were refused.
Changing Directions
The extended period out of the work environment is often a time for reflection. I recall a young mum on maternity, she contacted me for support and advice about the next stage in her career once she returns. This was originally a recruitment call which quickly turned into a coaching engagement. She had decided that her current company/role wasn’t going to be where she would stay for the next 5-10 years.
We spent several hours exploring her skills and strengths and what motivates her. We looked at examples of her career when she was most motivated and what she would like from her next role. She is now thriving in a new role which plays to her strengths but also gives her the stretch challenge she was wanting.
Companies are becoming more flexible and supportive of young mums going back to work, they have to. In my opinion there are still too many mums lost to the industry because they work for a company whose location isn’t conducive to balancing parenting and work life.
A very capable colleague of mine had kids and then moved out of London to be in a larger house, near to good schools. This move meant that her commute was not sustainable, given her childcare responsibilities and need to pick up and drop off her kids at school. She had to resign from her position and she no longer works in location planning, which is a real shame.
Keeping Mums in the Industry
How can organisations try to get these mums back into the industry? Technology and shifts in company policy has made remote working more acceptable but there is still a general expectation with most organisations on coming into the office several times per week. Does your company provide greater flexibility for young mums?
There does seem to be a generational shift in attitude to stress and mental wellbeing. This links to more of a shared responsibility in financially contributing to the running of the household and in relation to dealing with childcare needs. The responsibilities have been redistributed compared to when my parents were looking after me. This means that employers need to offer more flexibility to both sets of parents.
Extending to flexible hours, flexible work location, an understanding that there may be occasional urgent downtime to deal with sick children and an acceptance that employees shouldn’t be ‘always on’ in relation to work, there should be downtime. A Deloitte study stated that 68% of all employees and 81% of the C-Suite are rating well-being as being more important than advancing their career.
Previous lockdowns have helped with that flexible attitude to work time and workplace. I’ve also seen much more sharing of responsibility to childcare which is good, but I think we’ve still got a long way to go to ensure that many industries work hard to retain females in the workforce, particularly at senior levels. This is seen in our biannual salary survey where the gender pay gap is much more pronounced the more experience you have.
Changing Dynamics Returning to Work
There could also be challenges that present in terms of differing expectations around slotting back into the workplace. Some mums may think that they can come back after a year, or even two years off and slot straight back in to where they left off. Obviously, other people may have overtaken them in terms of the organisational hierarchy, or the business has changed beyond recognition.
Managing those changing relational dynamics is important to ensure harmonious integration. It is also important for the returning mum to be realistic about where they are now and what direction they wish to move in with their career.
Fast forward to when kids are in later high school age. I have seen many cases of mums wishing to rekindle their career and focus on their own development after supporting their kids into high school. These mums are wanting their time to focus on them for a change and are look for support from me on what to do next. If you are a mum who has been out of work for an extended period, you may be suffering with a nervousness about your ability in the workplace. Believe me there is a role for you somewhere.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that it can be a daunting task to reintegrate within your old role or come back into employment after an extended period out. In my experience it all comes down to ‘limiting beliefs’ – you feel this way so it must be true. In reality it’s not – you still have a number of skills that potential employers are interested in and you won’t have lost the ability to learn new things.
It’s about being clear on what your strengths are and what your own personal objectives are around the next stage in your career. I would recommend you have a confidential chat with someone to allay your fears and find clarity from the confusion caused by numerous choices. You may wish to consider speaking to either myself or Paul – I personally haven’t had a conversation where the other person hasn’t got some value out of the time we have spent together.
For employers – its thinking about how your policy on supporting young mums (and fathers) in the workplace sets you apart and demonstrates that you really care. Flexibility and understanding is needed and the resulting benefit will be that people will tend to be more committed to the company and less likely to leave.
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